By MERVIN BLOCK
June 2007

ABC's World News may be the most-watched evening newscast on television, but it's certainly not the most-edited.

It's a truism that every writer needs an editor. That's triply true in broadcasting, where many scripts are written in a newsroom that's a noiseroom--written under pressure, written in haste.

But unless a qualified copy editor reads scripts, many mistakes aren't caught and corrected. For us, though, mistakes that get on the air can be useful: mistakes are often our best teachers. So let's see what we can all learn from a sampling of World News's slip-ups. A few nights ago, the anchor, Charles Gibson, said:

"Well, President Bush today addressed the issue of global warming today [today twice!]. The President is calling on 15 major nations to set a goal for reducing greenhouse gas emissions. This is a major change for the White House and comes just days before the President goes to the meeting of major industrialized nations…." (May 31, 2007.)

Gibson used major in that item three times. And that night, he used major twice more: "Just how major is this arrest?" (you call that a question?) and "The President made his proposal on a day when a major debate over global warming erupted at NASA…."

In the same newscast, a correspondent also used major: "It's part of a major effort to negotiate ceasefires…." All told, major was used in the newscast six times, probably in an effort to make stories sound more important. But if I may paraphrase Sir William Gilbert,
Where everything is major, nothing is major.

In another story that night, Gibson said, "Robert Alan Soloway did today plead not guilty to the charges lodged against him." Did today plead? Ungainly, unnatural, unconversational. You and I would write, "Robert Soloway pleaded not guilty today to identity theft." Probably only an anchor would put today before a verb. You and I would never tell anyone, "I today got up early." Or "I today swore off newscasts."

Gibson again that night: "Next, we turn to Iraq, where the U-S military's number two commander, Lieutenant General Ray Odierno, made a dramatic assertion today, saying that he believes 80 percent of the Sunni and Shiite insurgents can be convinced to lay down their arms." Convince can be followed by that or of, not to. The word needed is persuaded.

On a previous broadcast, Gibson said, "There is a major scandal rocking the world of NASCAR just days before the most prestigious race of the season, the Daytona 500." (Feb. 14, 2007.) The main problem: starting with there is, a dead phrase. Better: "A scandal is rocking the world of NASCAR…." I didn't call it major. After all, do networks report minor scandals? Sometimes, but major is so overused that it has lost a lot of its sock.

"If you happen to fly through the Phoenix airport today, there was a new machine being used to screen passengers at the security checkpoint, and this one has privacy advocates rather upset." (Feb. 23, 2007.) I didn't go through Phoenix that day, so does that mean a new machine was not used? The script said there was a new machine. Did that imply it's no longer being used? As for rather, Strunk and White say in their Elements of Style that writers should avoid qualifiers: "rather, very, little, pretty—these are the leeches that infest the pond of prose, sucking the blood of words."

"If you or anyone you know are flying tonight, we have information on airport delays and arrivals." (Feb. 13, 2007.) That sentence needs more than first aid; it needs reconstructive surgery. Anyone is singular, so are should be is. When subjects are joined by or, the verb should match the part of the subject closer to it. But if you shifted you to follow or, you'd have an equally awkward sentence. Maybe: "If you're going to fly tonight—or anyone you know—we have information…." No, that doesn't sound right. And opening with if is not promising; if is the weakest word in the dictionary. Better: "For you or anyone else flying tonight, we have information…." But I'd skip that you stuff: only one person in 200 might be flying that night. And all those already aloft—or sitting on a runway--wouldn't hear the newscast.

"And in Iraq today," Gibson said, "a helicopter owned by the private security firm Blackwater U-S-A crashed in central Iraq. [Iraq twice in one sentence? Yep.] Five civilians were killed. [Were they on the plane? Or in the street? Or what?] A senior Iraqi defense official said the aircraft was shot down over a predominantly Sunni neighborhood, and an insurgent group did claim responsibility." (Jan. 23, 2007.) Why not claimed?

"Finally tonight, our 'Person of the Week.' The Library of Congress, this coming Wednesday, will present the first annual Gershwin Prize for Popular Song…." (May 18, 2007.) Rather than this coming Wednesday, why not use the shorter next Wednesday? The Associated Press stylebook says: "An event cannot be described as annual until it has been held in at least two successive years. Do not use the term first annual. Instead, note that sponsors plan to hold an event annually."

"Devlin pled not guilty to kidnapping Ben Ownby…." (Jan. 18, 2007). The past tense of plead is pleaded, please.

World News correspondents also broadcast flawed stories:

"Yes, there have been many weighty questions about the hamburger, but perhaps none so contentious as from whence it came." (Feb. 20, 2007.)

Whence means from where, so from whence is redundant. You might recall from whence in Psalm 121 in the King James Bible. But from hence, forget about it—forget about from whence, not the Bible.

"The relative calm this time comes as the Mahdi army…appears to be laying low." (Feb. 16, 2007.) Should be lying low. In Mrs. Bluezette's Grammar Guide: Writing Tips for Broadcast News, Mona Scott says, "'Lie' means to recline or occupy a position or location." And "'Lay' means to set something down. It always takes an object." Anyone who still has trouble with lay/lie should check a grammar or a dictionary. Or apply to a good grammar school.

"SWAT teams held mock drills before the school day even started." (Oct. 10, 2006.) Mock drills? Mock turtle soup uses no turtle, so I take it that a mock drill is not a drill at all. A drill is a make-believe run-through, like a fire drill. Or an abandon-ship drill. A mock drill? Never happened.

"The president of B-P North America told us today that he never received any warning of problems that were years in the making." (Aug. 9, 2006.) Then the correspondent asked him on camera, "Were you ever warned about a serious corrosion problem at Prudhoe Bay?" His answer: "Not that I'm aware of." Well, that's not never.

"The draft agreement was reached after 16 hours of talks today between the six nations involved." (Feb. 12, 2007.) Mention of more than two nations, or two people, or two of anything, requires among, not between.

"The key to resuming operations in a storm like this one, advance planning, although ultimately, weather is unpredictable." (Dec. 1, 2006.) Advance planning is redundant. No one plans for an event or an eventuality after the fact.

"One out of five from those with less than five-thousand residents, many of them poor communities." (Feb. 20, 2007.) Less should be fewer. The AP stylebook: "In general, use fewer for individual items, less for bulk or quantity." So it'd be correct to say, "My car uses less gas, but it gets fewer gallons to the mile."

"The headlines say it all: 'Subway Superman.'" (Jan. 3, 2007.) How can two words say it all?

"There is a reason why Alaa and Saif and so many other Iraqi journalists risk their lives…." (May 18, 2007.) The New York Times stylebook says: "Both because and why are built into the meaning of reason. So avoid the reason is because and the reason why. Write The reason is that the mayor got more votes…."

"Instead, 180-million dollars were spent gutting and rebuilding it." (Sept. 25, 2006.) Should be was spent, not were spent.

More time should have been spent on all those World News scripts. A good editor would have intercepted those scripts before they were broadcast. And seen to it that they were cleaned up and cleared up.

Skilled editors are essential because they don't take anything for granted. They scrutinize copy, check facts, question murky meaning, fix word misuse, tighten loose construction, repair grammatical glitches and make sure scripts are written smoothly and in broadcast style.

Editors who edit and know how to edit make a big difference. If an editor were to make the scripts for World News the most-watched, she'd be taking an important step. But let's not call it major.